World has their own poetry.
I’d never imagine we will end up like this.
I cried everytime we fight, im screaming that I’m right.
I dont even know who is wrong or right.
I guess i should’ve let you win.
I’ve told you everything in my mind.
That I love you, i want you in my life.
But its just too late i guess.
You’ll never come back.
But I’m still waiting you to come home.
I can always be your home.
All my friends said you”re not deserve my tears.
You give me pain that I dont deserve.
And I dont even know why I shame my self for reaching you out.
Its feels like dream, everytime i wake up i expect you text me “goodmorning honey” like before.
But there is no text, I texted you, but there is no reply.
Maybe I’ll give up soon, but I dont even understand my self.
I know im stupid.
But love makes anyone stupid, right?
You need to know where everythings going to be worse.
It starts that day, May, 24.
I’m still reaching, even though i know you’re not there anymore.
There is no reply.
Imma torn inside, really I did.
Why are you pushing me away?
i’ve been giving out chances everytime, and do you see what you’ve done?
You tore me me apart.
Like imma trash, I’m so small.
I love you and I really did.
I miss you. everytime.
I see your face even when I’m asleep.
Your ghost whisper “I love you everynow and then” everynight.
But when i wake up i realize.
The real you saying “I dont want you no more, just go, im moving on.”
Thats what I used to be
Time flies to fast.
Its blaming me, its all my fault.
Could you ever hates yourself for being so unperfectly?
I feel it every single time in my life.
People come, paint some smiles, then go away like im a bad disaster.
That’s what I call myself.
Im feeling so small, lonely, unwanted, but that’s what I used to be.
Sometimes hopes was only hopes.
You need to prepare yourself for unthinkable let down.
I feel so many, I cant write it down.
I want to jump off the bridge, but I also want to fly.
I want to get drown on the endless sea, but I also want to swim.
I wonder why I need to feel this way again.
Part of me saying “let go” but the other part saying “you need to stay”
And I cant figure out.
Its been a month. But it would stay the same.
I learn to live with this pain anyway.
Pain will always win. And I always be the one who lose.
But its all worth it when it comes to you.
Its always taste nice. You will. Always taste nice.
You’re the bad one, but you always have every right things to say.
You’re wrong, but your eyes proves that you’re not all bad.
Maybe im the one who blame.
I always find my happiness on another people.
And I want to live with them, forever.
Feel love and be loved, that’s what I called happiness.
That’s what I go wrong.
Im scared of losing another people every single night.
It haunts me, everynight, at 2am.
It really haunts me, I guess I stuck on depression.
I don’t know how to get the hell out from here.
But really, im tired of those feelings.
Ive been through it all every single night from almost 3 years.
It gots better when you came.
My fear leave me once by once.
But when you leave, they all comes back, more often, more painful.
And im not ready to feel that way again.
That’s why im still reach you out.
But you run away to fast, honey.
Days becomes month, and you will never come back.
I call you, and you said “just go find anyone else, don’t disturbing me.”
It hurts the most when I know I supposed to having you here.
You supposed to hold me today.
But you choose to leave, don’t you?
Im trying to deal with this.
Im trying to deal with the fact that whoever ive been with.
I will always end up like this.
I will always end up of crying alone every single night, murder by feelings and depressions.
But that what I used to be, right?
If you read this, I hope you know all the reasons why Im still reaching.
You don’t need to come back, but you need to understand.
That even its so real, it will never be right.
Invisible wings, hidden evil
I always spell us, when its only me.
I need to start let everythings go.
Memories always throwing back together when I’m in the hardest part in my life.
I never wants to be mean, or be rude to anyone.
I want to spread love with words like Shakespeare.
I want to create a beautiful story.
My story. My perfect fantasy.
Shakespeare do everythings right, he’s my best.
But its not all about me, or about Shakespeare.
Its, all about you, youre invisible wings and your hidden evil.
Could you imagine it before?
How could people be great and bad at one moment?
How could they wants you today then push you away in the other day?
How could an angel murder you?
Sometimes, I feel like I can survive.
But I realize that I’m alright to get drown, alone.
Sometimes I fell I’m so done with my life.
Then I meet you, you give me the world.
You use your wings to take me to the moon.
Loving my all broken soul, my saddest mind, my empty heart.
You makes everything seems brighter like it usually did.
Honey, youre an angel with the demond inside, don’t you?
Cool heart, but its enough to warm mine.
Im hopeless romantic, and you create every fairytale to feed my desire.
But then you take it all away.
You tore all this love story.
Shakespeare dead, so do us.